Remember the old adage “Old rockers never die, they just smell that way”? Well in the fantastic world of Next Thursday (five days from now) this still stands true, but now when old rockers are too old to take care of themselves they are able to spend their twilight years in rock themed nursing homes. In your future year of 2006 the aging rockers AC/DC were the first band to set up such a home. Their fan base had spread over 3 to 4 generations so they decided to provide a service to their overlooked loyal aging fans, and to keep the filthy Lucca flowing. They establish a nursing home aptly named “Highway to Hell.” It was an outrageous success; its 150 beds selling out within 20 minutes of going on sale. The walls of the facility are plastered with AC/DC posters & memorabilia. In the TV room only AC/DC music clips, interviews and live concerts are played. Staff dressed in the Angus Young school uniform. AC/DC impersonators wander the halls visiting residents, imparting uplifting rock tales and signing autographs. Daily AC/DC sing-a-longs and once a week an AC/DC cover band would entertain the residents. Palliative care in the form of Whisky, Bourbon, Scotch & the finest malt liquors money can buy. Eventually when looking upon the AC/DC model other aging rockers got dollar signs in their eyes and began setting up their own homes. Kiss was next, then quickly followed by the Rolling Stones, Status Quo, Sex Pistols, Slayer, the list goes on. It the fantastic wondrous world of Next Thursday old rockers never die, they just have someone to change their adult diapers so they don’t smell that way, five long days from now.
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